Hello.
I'm back on track and I'll start my rants and whines here.
Well , I cant possibly post what I dislike/my feelings and all in Facebook right therefore I've decided to open up a fresh new blog for myself. Which is only known to Jaan and some girlfriends of mine.
I swear that Pre-National Day is a very bad one for me.
I'm very weak , shagged , mood-lees , cranky and whatever else emotion that can fit in.
I hate it when Im in this situation . Trust me , I can't even handle myself.
I almost got hit by a car early this morning , lost of appetite to eat during break-fast.

I'm doing bad , I know.
Whats a relationship with no disputes/misunderstandings right.
To be honest , I feel sucky when this happen in my r/s. Its not that I'm not strong enough to go through the hardship with Jaan but I cant get a grip of myself and instead of making things better, I end up ruining things .
"Awesome".
So yes, I had my dispute with Jaan and I'm caught in my own mess.
I've got no idea how to cheer Jaan up.
I'd never fail in that but today ...
Jaan , I'm sorry .
 I'm not a perfect girl. My hair doesn't stays in place, my make up wont be the same each time you see me.
Whether my hair stays in place or doesn't and whether my make up is the same or not but this heart of mine will always be the same . Loving you through thick and thin . 
Im trying to mend my ways and be a better person .
Ya Allah , please make things better and show me the right way in mending my mistakes .
You know what Im capable of , God.
For the last time Jaan, Im sorry .
I'll try to be better .
I love you , Muhd Shahir Abdul Jabbar .